Wednesday 28 November 2012
Wednesday 21 November 2012
Second script
Second draft of my 10 minute scrip
Storyline 1 – In the Kitchen
Lisa is cooking lunch in the kitchen and Ben is sat round the table. Ben and Chloe have just had a heated argument in the dining room over Ben getting a letter from his mum. Ben had thrown the letter away without reading it and Chloe didn’t agree. Lisa can see Ben is upset about what has just happened but it thinking whether to get involved or not.
Storyline 2 – In the games room
Chloe is sat on the sofa in the games room on her mobile, when ben walks in. Chloe’s eyes are all red from where she has been crying.
Laura and Megan are sat on Laura’s bed discussing Laura’s future. She is going to move in with new foster parents at the end of the week. She has all her stuff packed up in cardboard boxes.
Storyline 2 – In the games room
There both look up and smile at each other, Ben sees that Chloe has been crying so he decides to offer her a game of pool, to take her mind of things.
On the way they hear Ben and Chloe talking in the games room.
He hands the chalk over and checks his phone.
Storyline 1 – in the Kitchen
Storyline 1 – in the Kitchen
The girls have got themselves a drink and they are still sat at the table.
Storyline 1 – In the Kitchen
Lisa is cooking lunch in the kitchen and Ben is sat round the table. Ben and Chloe have just had a heated argument in the dining room over Ben getting a letter from his mum. Ben had thrown the letter away without reading it and Chloe didn’t agree. Lisa can see Ben is upset about what has just happened but it thinking whether to get involved or not.
Ben: (talking quietly to himself)
Why is Chloe even bothered, it has nothing to do with her?
Lisa: (trying to lighten the mood)
I’m making a roast for dinner, peas or carrots?
Ben:
Carrots, oh whichever it doesn’t matter
Lisa:
Carrots it is then
There is an awkward silent (6 seconds) between Lisa and Ben.
Lisa:
You should really make it up to Chloe, she is having a tough time and you were pretty hard on her.
Ben:
I know but I don’t know what to say to her.
Lisa:
She is in the games room now and she is feeling quite bad. Just go up to her and try to change the conversation, you too are close and it’s a shame to break that over a silly argument.
Ben:
I know, I’ll go and sort it out now.
Ben stands up and walks towards the door.
Ben:
Lisa
Lisa:
Yeah
Ben:
Thanks
Lisa smiles then turns the radio up as Ben walks out of the room.Storyline 2 – In the games room
Chloe is sat on the sofa in the games room on her mobile, when ben walks in. Chloe’s eyes are all red from where she has been crying.
Chloe:
Hi
She wipes away her tears
Ben:
Oh Chloe hey…
Ben walks over to the sofa were Chloe is sitting and sits next to her. There is still tension between them and there is an awkward silence.
Ben:
I’m sorry for upsetting you before.
Chloe:
I’m sorry for making such a fuss over a silly letter, it was your letter and I should have never said anything.
Ben:
I know you’re only trying to look out for me but you have to understand you don’t know my mum and what she is like.
Chloe:
I know it’s just your lucky enough to know your mum and I don’t want to throw it all away just because of what happened in the past.
Storyline 3- In Laura’s bedroomLaura and Megan are sat on Laura’s bed discussing Laura’s future. She is going to move in with new foster parents at the end of the week. She has all her stuff packed up in cardboard boxes.
Laura:
We can still stay friends and Julie says you can come and stay over whenever you want.
Megan:
I know but it won’t be the same.
Laura:
Change is good and we can still talk at school.
Megan:
I know but who will cheer me up when I’m upset and make me laugh when I’m fed up.
Laura:
You have other friends, Lucy seems quite nice,
Megan:
You don’t even know Lucy you have only just arrived in here, I’ve been here for years and you have been the only person to talk to me.
Laura:
Just give her a chance you never know she might be really nice.
Megan:
But how do I know I can trust her, you’re the only person who knows my secrets, what if she tells someone?
Laura:
. Well you don’t need to tell her about your past and what your parents did to you
Megan:
But what if she asks about them
Laura:
She won’t and it smells like Lisa is making the roast, shall we go and see if she needs any help?
Laura:
Yeah but that won’t solve my problems
Megan and Laura both decide to walk downstairs to the kitchen to help Lisa.
There both look up and smile at each other, Ben sees that Chloe has been crying so he decides to offer her a game of pool, to take her mind of things.
Ben:
Do you want a game of pool so I can beat you again?
Chloe:
I let you win
Ben:
You’re only saying that because you’ll a bad loser.
They both laugh, Ben stands up and picks up both cues and hands one to Chloe. Chloe takes the cue and also stands up leaving her mobile on the sofa.
Chloe:
I’ll set the game up if I can break?
Ben:
Fine, I’ll win away
Chloe’s reaches the triangle and all the red and yellow balls from under the table. She then places them neatly on the table on lines the Black ball up. Ben laughs because she is taking too long.
Ben:
It doesn’t have to be perfect you know?
Chloe:
I know but I don’t want any excuses when I beat you.
Chloe:
Do you have the chalk?
Ben:
Yeah
Storyline 3- In the corridorOn the way they hear Ben and Chloe talking in the games room.
Laura:
Mmm sounds like Ben and Laura are fighting again
Megan:
I wonder what about this time
Laura:
Shall we have a quick listen?
Megan:
Well it’s none of our business but I guess it won’t hurt.
Laura and Megan both lean again the games room door to try and listen in.
Megan:
There only playing pool, so let’s go downstairs.
Laura:
Okay I need a drink anyway.
Megan:
Race ya?
Megan and Laura both race down the corridor into the kitchen.
Storyline 1 – in the Kitchen
Lisa:
Will you two stop being so silly and calm down, I’m trying to finish dinner.
Megan:
Sorry Lisa, it was my idea to race.
Laura:
Yeah Lisa it was all Megan’s fault.
Both turn to look at each other and smile sarcastically.
Lisa:
I don’t care who’s fault it is, I have a million other things to do so will you two either help or go and mess about somewhere else.
Storyline 2 – In the games roomHe hands the chalk over and checks his phone.
Chloe:
You ready?
Ben:
I’ve been ready for ages
Chloe breaks but she doesn’t get any balls in so she rolls her eyes at Ben. Ben smiles and takes his go; he easily gets a yellow ball into the top right pocket, he takes his go again and gets another one in the same pocket.
Ben:
Looks like your red then and are you sure not going to lose?
Chloe:
I wanted to be red anyway.
Chloe takes her go and also gets a red in this time in the bottom right pocket. She smiles sarcastically at Ben and takes her go again this time she misses.
Chloe:
YES!
Ben’s phones beeps, he looks at it but chooses to ignore it. He takes his go, this time quickly and he uses too much force so he misses.
Chloe:
Who was it?
Ben:
What do you mean?
Ben pretends not to understand because he doesn’t want to tell Chloe the truth. Ben is not in the mood and he tries not to answer.
Chloe: (raising her voice)
You know what I mean, who rang you?
Chloe realises he isn’t going to answer so she leans over the table and lines her next shot up, Ben throws his cue onto the table and wrecks the game. Chloe then stands up and looks at Ben, hand on her hip
Chloe:
Ben just because I was going to win and you still haven’t answered my question.
Ben:
Actually you lined that shot up totally wrong and I couldn’t be bothered playing anymore. It’s none of your business who rings me and whether I answer or not.
Ben goes to walk out of the room when Chloe interrupts his movement.
Chloe:
So you’ll just go to walk away as normal, I’m meant to be your best friend and best friends don’t keep secrets.
Ben turns around and looks at Chloe
Ben:
Fine, it was my mum ringing but I didn’t want you to get upset again.
Chloe:
I wasn’t upset!
Ben:
Chloe I’m not stupid and why are we arguing about this again?
Chloe:
You started all this, and why don’t you just listen to your mum for a change. She might actually have something important to say and then you would have wished you had listened.
Ben interrupts her Storyline 1 – in the Kitchen
Lisa: (starting to get frustrated)
Are Ben and Chloe fighting again?
Laura:
Last time we heard they were playing pool.
Megan:
But it’s not like we were trying to listen or anything
Laura nudges Megan as to say stop
Laura: (trying to cover up)
Why don’t you go and check while I and Megan watch the food.
Lisa:
Well I’m not sure, I don’t want you burning yourselves.
Megan:
We won’t, we have cooked loads of times
Laura looks at Megan again as if to say stop making it worse
Lisa:
You shouldn’t be telling me that, and I think I will go and check on them. Don’t hurt yourselves or burn the roast and I will be back soon.
Lisa exits the kitchen and starts walking to the games room, while the girls sit room the table.
Laura:
So I wonder what Lisa will say
Megan:
Dunno but she is in a really bad mood so it’s not going to be good.
Laura:
It’s very quiet this morning, where is everybody?
Megan:
They found out that Lisa was in a bad mood and decided to stay in their rooms.
Laura:
I don’t like it being this quite, shall we have a lot at Lucy’s magazines.
Megan:
She wouldn’t be too happy if she found out.
Laura:
But she is upstairs so she will never know if we put them back afterwards.
Storyline 2 – In the games room
Ben:
My mum has never said anything worth hearing and if you’re so bothered why don’t you talk to her.
Ben offers his phone to Chloe but doesn’t take it.
Chloe:
Why would I want to talk to your mum?
Ben:
I dunno but you seem to know everything, so I just through you would know what to say
Chloe:
That’s not fair I’m only trying to stop you making the biggest mistake of your life.
Lisa the care worker walks in from the kitchen.
Lisa:
Not this again! I through you two had made friends?
Ben:
It’s Chloe’s fault, thinking she knows everything
Lisa:
I don’t care whose fault it is, I have worked hard all day cleaning up and making lunch, I haven’t got time for this. Both of you go to your rooms and I don’t want you to hear another word from either of you. Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes.
Ben and Chloe both walk out of the games room in a mood without talking and Lisa follows behind to back to the kitchen.Storyline 1 – in the Kitchen
The girls have got themselves a drink and they are still sat at the table.
Megan:
Quick Lisa is coming, stir the food.
Laura gets up from the table and goes to stir the food.
Laura: (turns to face her)
Quick put the magazines away and the food is all stuck to the pan
Megan:
Just stir it around a bit and it will be fine with some gravy.
Laura:
Did you not hear me put the magazines away?
Megan:
I’m doing it now.
Megan puts the magazines away just in time and goes to wash the empty cups out.
Tuesday 13 November 2012
First draft of my 10 minute scrip
Chloe is sat on the sofa in the games room on her mobile, when Ben walks in. They have just had a heated argument in the dining room over Ben getting a letter from his mum. Ben had thrown the letter away without reading it and Chloe didn’t agree. Chloe’s eyes are all red from where she has been crying.
Chloe: Hey Ben, over here.
She wipes away her tears
Ben: Oh Chloe hey…
Ben walks over to the sofa were Chloe is sitting and sits next to her. There is still tension between them and there is an awkward silence.
Ben: I’m sorry for upsetting you before.
Chloe: I’m sorry for making such a fuss over a silly letter, it was your letter and I should have never said anything.
Ben: I know you’re only trying to look out for me but you have to understand you don’t know my mum and what she is like.
Chloe: I know it’s just your lucky enough to know your mum and I don’t want to throw it all away just because of what happened in the past.
Chloe: Friends??
Ben: Friends
There both look up and smile at each other, Ben sees that Chloe has been crying so he decides to offer her a game of pool, to take her mind of things.
Ben: Do you want a game of pool so I can beat you again?
Chloe: I let you win
Ben: You’re only saying that because you’ll a bad loser.
They both laugh, Ben stands up and picks up both cues and hands one to Chloe. Chloe takes the cue and also stands up leaving her mobile on the sofa.
Chloe: I’ll set the game up if I can break?
Ben: Fine, I’ll win away
Chloe’s reaches the triangle and all the red and yellow balls from under the table. She then places them neatly on the table on lines the Black ball up. Ben laughs because she is taking too long.
Ben: It doesn’t have to be perfect you know?
Chloe: I know but I don’t want any excuses when I beat you.
Chloe: Do you have the chalk?
Ben: Yeah
He hands the chalk over and checks his phone.
Chloe: You ready?
Ben: I’ve been ready for ages
Chloe breaks but she doesn’t get any balls in so she rolls her eyes at Ben. Ben smiles and takes his go; he easily gets a yellow ball into the top right pocket, he takes his go again and gets another one in the same pocket.
Ben: Looks like your red then and are you sure not going to lose?
Chloe: I wanted to be red anyway.
Chloe takes her go and also gets a red in this time in the bottom right pocket. She smiles sarcastically at Ben and takes her go again this time she misses.
Chloe: YES!
Ben’s phones beeps, he looks at it but chooses to ignore it. He takes his go, this time quickly and he uses too much force so he misses.
Chloe: Who was it?
Ben: what do you mean?
Ben pretends not to understand because he doesn’t want to tell Chloe the truth. Ben is not in the mood and he tries not to answer.
Chloe: You know what I mean, who rang you?
Chloe realises he isn’t going to answer so she leans over the table and lines her next shot up, Ben throws his cue onto the table and wrecks the game. Chloe then stands up and looks at Ben, hand on her hip
Chloe: Ben just because I was going to win and you still haven’t answered my question.
Ben: Actually you lined that shot up totally wrong and I couldn’t be bothered playing anymore. It’s none of your business who rings me and whether I answer or not.
Ben goes to walk out of the room when Chloe interrupts his movement.
Chloe: So you’ll just going to walk away as normal, I’m meant to be your best friend and best friends don’t keep secrets.
Ben turns around and looks at Chloe
Ben: Fine, it was my mum ringing but I didn’t want you to get upset again.
Chloe: I wasn’t upset!
Ben: Chloe I’m not stupid and why are we arguing about this again?
Chloe: You started all this, and why don’t you just listen to your mum for a change. She might actually have something important to say and then you would have wished you had listened.
Ben interrupts her
Ben: My mum has never said anything worth hearing and if you’re so bothered why don’t you talk to her.
Ben offers his phone to Chloe but doesn’t take it.
Chloe: Why would I want to talk to your mum?
Ben: I dunno but you seem to know everything, so I just through you would know what to say
Chloe: That’s not fair I’m only trying to stop you making the biggest mistake of your life.
Lisa the care worker walks in from the kitchen.
Lisa: Not this again! I through you two had made friends?
Ben: It’s Chloe’s fault, thinking she knows everything
Lisa: I don’t care whose fault it is, I have worked hard all day cleaning up and making lunch, I haven’t got time for this. Both of you go to your rooms and I don’t want you to hear another word from either of you.
Chloe: But.
Lisa: NO buts!
Ben and Chloe both walk out of the games room in a mood without talking and Lisa follows behind.
Chloe: Hey Ben, over here.
She wipes away her tears
Ben: Oh Chloe hey…
Ben walks over to the sofa were Chloe is sitting and sits next to her. There is still tension between them and there is an awkward silence.
Ben: I’m sorry for upsetting you before.
Chloe: I’m sorry for making such a fuss over a silly letter, it was your letter and I should have never said anything.
Ben: I know you’re only trying to look out for me but you have to understand you don’t know my mum and what she is like.
Chloe: I know it’s just your lucky enough to know your mum and I don’t want to throw it all away just because of what happened in the past.
Chloe: Friends??
Ben: Friends
There both look up and smile at each other, Ben sees that Chloe has been crying so he decides to offer her a game of pool, to take her mind of things.
Ben: Do you want a game of pool so I can beat you again?
Chloe: I let you win
Ben: You’re only saying that because you’ll a bad loser.
They both laugh, Ben stands up and picks up both cues and hands one to Chloe. Chloe takes the cue and also stands up leaving her mobile on the sofa.
Chloe: I’ll set the game up if I can break?
Ben: Fine, I’ll win away
Chloe’s reaches the triangle and all the red and yellow balls from under the table. She then places them neatly on the table on lines the Black ball up. Ben laughs because she is taking too long.
Ben: It doesn’t have to be perfect you know?
Chloe: I know but I don’t want any excuses when I beat you.
Chloe: Do you have the chalk?
Ben: Yeah
He hands the chalk over and checks his phone.
Chloe: You ready?
Ben: I’ve been ready for ages
Chloe breaks but she doesn’t get any balls in so she rolls her eyes at Ben. Ben smiles and takes his go; he easily gets a yellow ball into the top right pocket, he takes his go again and gets another one in the same pocket.
Ben: Looks like your red then and are you sure not going to lose?
Chloe: I wanted to be red anyway.
Chloe takes her go and also gets a red in this time in the bottom right pocket. She smiles sarcastically at Ben and takes her go again this time she misses.
Chloe: YES!
Ben’s phones beeps, he looks at it but chooses to ignore it. He takes his go, this time quickly and he uses too much force so he misses.
Chloe: Who was it?
Ben: what do you mean?
Ben pretends not to understand because he doesn’t want to tell Chloe the truth. Ben is not in the mood and he tries not to answer.
Chloe: You know what I mean, who rang you?
Chloe realises he isn’t going to answer so she leans over the table and lines her next shot up, Ben throws his cue onto the table and wrecks the game. Chloe then stands up and looks at Ben, hand on her hip
Chloe: Ben just because I was going to win and you still haven’t answered my question.
Ben: Actually you lined that shot up totally wrong and I couldn’t be bothered playing anymore. It’s none of your business who rings me and whether I answer or not.
Ben goes to walk out of the room when Chloe interrupts his movement.
Chloe: So you’ll just going to walk away as normal, I’m meant to be your best friend and best friends don’t keep secrets.
Ben turns around and looks at Chloe
Ben: Fine, it was my mum ringing but I didn’t want you to get upset again.
Chloe: I wasn’t upset!
Ben: Chloe I’m not stupid and why are we arguing about this again?
Chloe: You started all this, and why don’t you just listen to your mum for a change. She might actually have something important to say and then you would have wished you had listened.
Ben interrupts her
Ben: My mum has never said anything worth hearing and if you’re so bothered why don’t you talk to her.
Ben offers his phone to Chloe but doesn’t take it.
Chloe: Why would I want to talk to your mum?
Ben: I dunno but you seem to know everything, so I just through you would know what to say
Chloe: That’s not fair I’m only trying to stop you making the biggest mistake of your life.
Lisa the care worker walks in from the kitchen.
Lisa: Not this again! I through you two had made friends?
Ben: It’s Chloe’s fault, thinking she knows everything
Lisa: I don’t care whose fault it is, I have worked hard all day cleaning up and making lunch, I haven’t got time for this. Both of you go to your rooms and I don’t want you to hear another word from either of you.
Chloe: But.
Lisa: NO buts!
Ben and Chloe both walk out of the games room in a mood without talking and Lisa follows behind.
Questionarie Graph Analysis
Question 1 - What is your favourite tv channel?
This charts tells me that most people like channel 4 so my show should be showed on that channel. It also tells me what type of shows people enjoy watching and helps me decide if my tv drama should be similar to the ones on channel 4.
This tells me that most people prefer comendy tv shows, so my tv show would be more appealing to my target audience if the genre was comendy.
Wednesday 7 November 2012
Compared
The first script is more about the edits at the start of the scene unlike the other script which doesn't mention them. The casualty script goes straight into the stage dirctions and then into the speech on the first page but the other script doesn't even mention the characters, it sets the scene first.
The first script has a margin which the numbers are in and the text is wrote in align left but the casualty script doesn't have a margin and is wrote in align centre which is harder to read andf it takes longer to understand.
Both the scripts make the important parts (or example the stage directions and the character names) stand out form the rext of the text. The first scrip does this by writing it in bold and the second scrip writes it in a different alignment and a bigger font size.
The second script doesn't mention much about the location and we only no it is set in a police station unlike the first script which tells us a lot of detail on the location.
The first script has a margin which the numbers are in and the text is wrote in align left but the casualty script doesn't have a margin and is wrote in align centre which is harder to read andf it takes longer to understand.
Both the scripts make the important parts (or example the stage directions and the character names) stand out form the rext of the text. The first scrip does this by writing it in bold and the second scrip writes it in a different alignment and a bigger font size.
The second script doesn't mention much about the location and we only no it is set in a police station unlike the first script which tells us a lot of detail on the location.
Script 2
HOLBY POLICE STATION - CONTINUOUS
(LLOYD, PC BRINKLEY)
(NS POLICE OFFICERS, PC JULIE SCRIVEN, SCARLETT,
CLINT, NS CROWD, FAITH)
On LLOYD as he watches SCARLETT disappear into the crowd. We lose
sight of her with him as the crowd closes around her.
LLOYD turns his attention to PC SCRIVEN. Her uniform is burned.
She has raised her hands to the helmet and is pulling at it.
Close on her face screaming inside the visor from LLOYD’s POV. She
claws at it as if suffocating.
LLOYD
(trying to calm her)
Don’t pull. Leave it. Let me. It’s ok.
PC BRINKLEY
Up! Get off her. Yes - You!
LLOYD jerks his head up - a group of Police surround him. Weapons
at the ready. Circling him, threatening.
(Prejudiced by LLOYD’s
colour, BRINKLEY assumes he’s a rioter, causing more trouble.)
PC BRINKLEY (CONT’D)
Up! And step back.
LLOYD
(protesting)
I’m a Nurse!
PC BRINKLEY
Sure!
LLOYD holds up his hands to show he’s got no weapons on him.
LLOYD
(repeating, desperate)
I work at Holby City ED. I’m a Nurse!
PC BRINKLEY realizes his mistake. Recognizes LLOYD, indicates to
the surrounding Police that LLOYD should be left alone.
PC BRINKLEY
He’s good. I’ve seen him in the hospital.
LLOYD shoots PC BRINKLEY a grateful look.
PC BRINKLEY (CONT’D)
Sorry mate.
LLOYD lets this possibly un-pc remark of PC BRINKLEY’s go.This scrips tells us what charcters are going to be involved in this scene.It has a lot of stage directions and actions which make it easy to understand what is going to happen in this scene. The characters are all wrote in Captial letters and in a bigger font so they stand out straight away from the rest of the text. The actually speech is wrote in align centre so it stands out from the stage directions which are wrote in align centre.
Script 1
http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/scripts/inspector-george-gently-s5-ep2-gently-with-class.pdf
IGG6. Film 1. PINK AMENDMENTS. 20.03.12 1.
COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT 1. 01:50 1
A car flashes through the frame. Too fast.
2 EXT. A BEND IN THE RIVER - NIGHT 1. 01:52 2
A hill with a bend and a bridge at the bottom. We hear the
sound of the car approaching on the far side of the hill. Its
beams light up the sky.
3 EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT 1. 01:53 3
The car gathers pace as it crests the hill heading away from
us and down towards the bend in the river and the bridge.
CAPTION: NORTHUMBERLAND 1968.
4 EXT. A BEND IN THE RIVER - NIGHT 1. 01:54 4
The car comes downhill towards us. The bend in the road, the
low bridge parapet, the cold water - all arrive too soon for
the unseen DRIVER. A scream of brakes.
5 EXT. THE RIVER - NIGHT 1. 01:55 5
The car is upside down in three feet of water. The still
unseen DRIVER is kicking at the door from the inside. That’s
the only sound in the quiet night. The buckled metal of the
door starts to give way to the blows and it starts to edge
open. We hear a feeble voice, dazed, pleading.
ELLEN (O.S.)
I’m stuck. Help me. I’m stuck.
6 EXT. DURHAM - DAY 2. 10:00 6
An establishing shot of the cathedral on this sunny morning.
7 INT. A DOCTOR’S SURGERY - DAY 2. 10:01 7
GENTLY is having his annual check-up. A stethoscope on his
back, under his vest, as he takes deep breaths, his mind
elsewhere. It’s a nice room. You can see the cathedral
through the window. The stethoscope belongs to DOCTOR ARNOLD.
8 INT. A DOCTOR’S SURGERY - DAY 2. 10:05 8
A few minutes later. GG is tucking in his shirt, replacing
his cufflinks and putting on his jacket as ARNOLD (60)
scribbles notes at his desk.
IGG6. Film 1. PINK AMENDMENTS. 20.03.12 1.
(CONTINUED)
This scrip has a lot of information on the edits which will be show at the start of the tv drama. It tells us how long each edit will last and what each character will say at this time. It also says what time of day each edit will be based on and which day the clip is meant to represent this makes it easy to picture the scene. It tells us what kind of camera shots will take place and a lot of stage directions. All the text is wrote from the left hand side but excluding the margin's and the numbers are in the margin's at either side of the scrip. The important text is wrote in bold so it stands out from the rest of the text.
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